Title: Kill The Boy Band
Author: Goldy Moldavsky
Publish Date: February 23, 2016
Format: Audio book (borrowed from library)
Genre: Young Adult/Contemporary/Humor
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
Quote(s):“Boyband fangirls are a species that are more focused, determined and powerful in large numbers than just about any other group of people I can think of”
“The joy you find as a teen, however frivolous and dumb, is pure, and meaningful. It doesn’t matter that it might ferment and taste different when you’re older. That’s the whole point of being a teenager – not worrying about the future.”
It’s a look at boyband fangirls and their antics to get what they want, and what they want is the boys. How far will they go? Pretty far, actually.
From The Back Cover:
Okay, so just know from the start that it wasn’t supposed to go like this. All we wanted was to get near The Ruperts, our favorite boy band.
We didn’t mean to kidnap one of the guys. It kind of, sort of happened that way. But now he’s tied up in our hotel room. And the worst part of all, it’s Rupert P. All four members of The Ruperts might have the same first name, but they couldn’t be more different. And Rupert P. is the biggest flop out of the whole group.
We didn’t mean to hold hostage a member of The Ruperts, I swear. At least, I didn’t. We are fans. Okay, superfans who spend all of our free time tweeting about the boys and updating our fan tumblrs. But so what, that’s what you do when you love a group so much it hurts.
How did it get this far? Who knows. I mean midterms are coming up. I really do not have time to go to hell.
I used to be a fangirl.
There is something overwhelmingly exciting, innocent and sweet about loving a boyband. The obsession, the need, the undying love, the hysteria, and crazy antics. You only understand if you’ve been there, the shared friendships the bonding of standing in line with like minded girls, hopeful to catch a glimpse, just a little one. But alas, there is a dark side to all that as well, what happens when the guy(s) you are so devoted to, say or do something that makes them fall from grace? What happens when they aren’t the nice, lovable guys they are portrayed as, what if gasp, you find out that they are only human? Well in this particular case you have 4 girls who go just a little too far, ok, ok a lot to far. Someone feels the boys must pay for their broken hearts and crumpled posters, but who and why?
4 of the Ruperts “Biggest” fans, couldn’t get to tickets to the holiday show being put on in New York. Right, they book a room at the same hotel the Ruperts will be staying at. The rich friend her maid will check them in no big. Where right away they bump into one of the boys (the ugly one naturally) one of the girls tackles him and manages to drag him back to the room, they tie him essentially kidnapping him. Cue many deliberation about what to do with him, when he wakes up. Well of course he wakes up and they blackmail him into giving up some secrets, the girls keep arguing amognst themselves with the narrator always wanting to do the right thing and let him go, but she just never seems to be able to stand up to her friends. They all leave the room usually at the same time, but all go somewhere else. Let’s just say, that many shenanigans occur. Kidnapping, murder and mayhem this books bring them all to the table. But innocence is always shattered the boy banders always fall from grace and it is always a struggle to be the lone standout and not only do the right thing but convince your friends to do so as well.
Having been a boyband fan girl (New Kids On The Block), I can attest that most, not all but most of the shenanigans these gals get up to, or the stories they tell about other fangirls are true, well not the kidnapping part, ok actually I met this girl once who may have been thinking it, she was kind of scary now that I think about it. I remember hearing very similar stories back in the day. Are they exaggerated? Some of them, but not all, oh no not all. I’ve seen several reviews that say the plot is implausible, that there is no way that fangirls could do those kinds of things. Well I heard some stories back in the day that make me wonder, what some of those gals could have done if only we had social media. The part about meeting and bonding with other fangirls, that’s true absolutely true. I meet some of my very best friends that way. Nothing like standing for hours in the rain for a glimpse, only to have the glimpse obscured by many many black umbrellas. And trust me every fangirl believes that they are the boybands biggest fan. Until you meet one of “those” girls, if your a boyband fan girl you probably know what I mean, if you don’t, well you are either not a boyband fangirl or you are that girl.
Overall the book is a decent attempt at dark humor. It does read like fan fiction though, not quite developed enough and the plot was kind of well kind of all over the place. I liked it for the fangirl nostalgia as well as the many 80’s movie references. I do however, have some issues, the fat shaming in this book disgusted me, the girl Apple is described numerous times as being big enough to crush people, and that she could only hope to be loved by the least liked boybander. There is also a lot of other ways they go on and on about her weight, which by the way is not needed for the story in anyway! Not just fat shaming, but always we have to hear all the ways that the least liked Rupert, is ugly and a jerk and like really ugly and can’t dress. This is a book aimed at teenage girls and I was dismayed that it was made such a huge part of the book, I get that teens talk like that, but I feel the author took it too far.
Tell us were you a boyband fangirl? give us your awesome stories, I know you have one.
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